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Parenthood interview : Deli, a restless mama of 3


Could you introduce yourself in a few words? 

My name is Deli. I work as a lecturer at the University and try to reconcile my professional career and the full-time job of being a restless mother of three. 

When did you say to yourself I want a "baby now"?

I actually never thought of being a mother, and even less a mother of a large family. It was only following a long stay in New York and after securing a tenure at the university that we thought of having a family.

When you announced your first pregnancy, were you overwhelmed by happiness or stress?

I remember the greatest happiness and excitement. I will never forget the thrill experienced that first pregnancy. 

What about your partner, what was his reaction?

We were both really eager for the upcoming baby.

How do you share between your work and your children ? That's a hard question to answer as it 's also a hard thing to reconcile, especially if you don't have family or any relatives close by (as it is the case). I knew that the first years I was going to devote the most of my time to my kids. That was something I had in mind from the outset. Fortunately, I could manage to combine motherhood with my professional life, although slowing down my work schedule and stepping down from promotion. Anyway, it was worthwhile. 

Having kids, is there a little niche left for you?

Very little, to be honest. My partner and I both have full-time jobs and the need to develop professionally. Besides, we don't have the everyday help of grandparents or relatives to take care of kids. This makes it more difficult, although we try to make the effort to find that niche for each other.

What relationship do you have with your body since you gave birth?

I've never had any "relationship" with my body. I have felt good before and after having babies. I've always led a healthy life and, so fortunately, my body has not significantly changed ever since.

When we give birth today, in a complicated period. How do you imagine your baby in 30 years?

I don't know how my kids will be within 30 years. I just want them to be healthy and safe, to be happy. I want them to have the opportunity to achieve their dreams.

Are you today a fulfilled woman?

I am a woman with many "fronts open" and many hopes and dreams still to be fulfilled. I try to enjoy everyday-life small things, and the enjoyment of these little things fulfill my spirit. I sincerely believe that sometimes we erroneously think that only through the achievement of targets we can feel fulfilled. Targets change with time, and we also change with experiences and time. Do I have to feel a fulfilled woman compared to what or to whom? To my own expectations? 

Feeling good about yourself, while acknowledging that sometimes there are tough times where things don't work out the way you want or expect is a good starting point to feel fulfilled. 

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